Oxford University Association Football Club

Biography

Homer was brought into the squad initially as an interpreter for brother Luther: he proved similarly enigmatic but kept his place with a string of good performances. In his first year he suffered from a chronic fear of minibuses which prevented him from playing away games.

Homer "would this face lie" Sullivan is in fact the mastermind behind the prolonged and unnecessary banter campaign against talented and good looking Blues central midfielder Matt Robinson. Currently conspiring with ageing defender Hazzard to oust the inspirational Robinson from the team, his efforts are so far thwarted by his addiction to and inability to function without regular doses of undetectable performance enhancer "SSL".

Homer likes to match his boot and kit colour, and also to 'do' his opposite full back with his eyes, hoping to induce them to fall out of the way of his often straight line runs from bye line to the edge of the box. Once at the edge of the box Homer's undoubted talent as a winger ensures he has many options to choose from, including a left footed shot. Coach Martin Keown has been instrumental in Homer's development of this skill offering such advice as, 'If you think your shot is going to be sh*t, then don't do it'. A varsity goal from a Sullivan cutting in from the right channel? Don't you bet against it. Luther better watch out.